ALON BEE, a devoted father to Paige and Blake.
Cooking with Purpose
Posted December 10, 2009
VICKI BEE, remembered as a beautiful wife, incredible mother, and an amazing cook.
Faced with the sudden death of his wife Vicki, Alon Bee channeled his grief into trying to fill the void for his son and daughter, Blake and Paige. The effort began in the least likely of places for Alon: the kitchen.
TO THIS DAY, Alon Bee remembers precisely how suddenly he lost his wife: just 24 days after her diagnosis with acute hepatitis, she was gone. And Alon felt her absence everywhere.
“Shocked is probably the best word,” he says, "because she left us so quickly. It was so difficult to get used to the change in my home. The silence felt overpowering.”
Some changes were especially visceral. Vicki was an avid and talented cook, and “coming in the door without those wonderful smells of something cooking in the oven or on the stove always reminded us of her absence,” adds Alon.
Still, Alon refused to crumble in the face of grief. He knew he needed strength in order to be there for his children — son Blake, then in law school, and daughter Paige, then a sophomore in college. So that first holiday season without Vicki, Alon vowed to continue family traditions such as cutting down a fresh tree for Christmas and putting up elaborate outside decorations. A neighbor expressed surprise he could even muster the energy to put up lights. Alon was bewildered: “As if I wouldn’t decorate?” he remembers thinking.
But while holiday decorating had always been Alon’s forte, Vicki had ruled the kitchen. Still, Alon is not a man to give up easily. His son, Blake, offered the first suggestion: he’d recently had a deep-fried turkey and requested that his dad give that a try. Alon complied, starting a new family tradition that still continues today. Then Alon took a few cooking classes and slowly began to expand his repertoire. “Most of what I do is just whatever they ask for,” he says. “I’ve tried a baked catfish recipe with Parmesan cheese, which they like. I also like to do filets on the grill, dusted with ground coffee and chili powder.” Still other family favorites include Alon’s baked squash, made with onions, butter and garlic, and a frozen dessert of ice cream, Heath Bars, and amaretto.
“I still don’t claim to be much of a cook,” Alon notes. “But I continue to try to learn and have something unique whenever they come home.” And that seems to satisfy. “As long as it’s fresh and we’re eating together at home as a family,” he says, “then that’s what matters.”
A Father’s Advice
In fact, long before Vicki’s passing, Alon already had demonstrated his acute and personal dedication to family. In 2004 he wrote 100 Reminders for My Kids Before They Leave Home, a book he describes as offering the kind of advice his father used to give him. “I grew up when there were no emails, voicemails, or text messages,” Alon explains. “But I had handwritten letters from my folks, with the kinds of things that parents say to their kids all the time, and I wanted to put it into writing for my own kids.”
The book’s wisdom lies in its simplicity, ranging from the universally sage #19 Be a good listener, to the practical #53: Keep good tires and brakes and, with words particularly timely for the Bee family, the highly personal #25: Accidents and tragedy can happen, so don’t assume your family and friends will always be there.
Alon has now given away nearly 200 additional copies of the self-published book to family friends. As demand grew, he began selling it, with proceeds originally going to fund a scholarship at the University of Mississippi in honor of his late father. Then when Vicki died, he began using proceeds to fund the Vicki Randle Bee Scholarship in Nursing at the same university, where Vicki had once been named Mississippi’s Student Nurse of the Year.
His ability to help others has brought Alon some comfort in his grief. But whether through the scholarships that benefit people he’s never even met — or simply through his efforts to make home-cooked meals for his own children — Alon has never considered it a choice to provide for others wherever possible. And that’s especially true when it comes to his children.
“If I fail at fatherhood,” he says, “then nothing else matters.”
Enjoy two of Alon Bee’s recipes.
FILET
6-8 ounce (or larger, if preferred)
Ground coffee
Chili powder
Salt and pepper
"Dust" each side of the filet with ground coffee, chili powder, salt and pepper. Cook on a charcoal grill, using mesquite charcoal and mesquite chips that have been soaked in water for at least one hour before grilling.
Cook to desired preference.
CATFISH (Baked)
Catfish filet - desired size(s)
Extra virgin olive oil
Lemon pepper
Parmesan cheese (grated)
Butter
It is recommended to use an individual cooking/serving dish for each filet.
Completely and evenly cover the dish with extra virgin olive oil.
After placing the filet in the dish, "dust" with lemon pepper. Add 1 tablespoon of butter, then cover the catfish with the Parmesan cheese.
Bake for 40 minutes at 300 degrees.
Serve in the dish.
If interested in finding out more information or to order Alon’s book, 100 Reminders for My Kids Before They Leave Home, email Alon Bee at AlonBee@yahoo.com.
ALON BEE, City President in Jackson, Mississippi, Metro Area.
These recipes are provided by Alon Bee and have not been tested by seethegood.com.
comments (35)
I have enjoyed both dishes with my friend. He really has been a fine Christian father and a great friend to many...
Roland PriceThis was a very uplifting story - thank you for sharing and thank you, Mr. Bee, for the example you're setting.
Aubyn BrownCan't believe Alon is cooking his fish for 40 minutes...otherwise it sounds good! Can't wait to try the filet with coffee on it.
Susan LehmanGREAT STORY!!!
YOSHIMI BAEZAlon is a long time friend, former co-worker, golf buddy, and neighbor. My wife and I have great memories of Vicki's cooking and sweet disposition in our dinner club. We really miss her. Not sure I trust his cooking, yet.
Doug McKinnonReally sad but awsome story!! So I agree with Susan cooking the fish for 40 min seems a bit long....but sounds yummy!!!
Christina RodriguezSo sorry for your loss : ( Your story was very touching though! : ) If it's not too much trouble, can I get your baked squash recipe?? It sounds delicious just like your other ones! : D God bless!
Diana CovaciIn response to Diana Covaci's request for Alon's Squash recipe, here it is for all to enjoy: Squash - 2 per person, 1/2 cup of onion, salt, lemon pepper, and 3 tablespoons of butter. Slice squash in 1/4 inch slices and place in a shallow casserole dish. Dice onion and sprinkle over squash. Season with salt, lemon pepper, and garlic to taste. Dot with pats of butter. Pour about 1/2 cup of water in dish, cover with foil and bake at 350 degrees for 45 minutes.
Editor, See the GoodIf more fathers would take the steps that Mr. Bee did to maintain a strong family in times of grief, a lot less children would be in trouble. He chose the road to keep his family close and to help his children to understand that loss does not mean the end. He chose to show his children that good can come out of sorrow and that is a legacy that many of us need to pass on to our families. Thanks again, Mr. Bee, for being yourself in a time of hardship.
Judy BatesI cooked last night the catfish and came out delicious!!!!
Patricia daSilvaYou read so often of people who stop living and stop family traditions when a loved one dies. This was an AMAZING story.
CindyYour children are truly blessed!
SonyaBless this story being a mother of three. I would love to know how to obtain a copy of the book of wisdom. I would like to start my own to be passed on to my children and my children's children one day.
Charmain Holman-SantanaIn response to Charmain Holman-Santana's question on how to order Alon's book, 100 Reminders for My Kids Before They Leave Home, email Alon Bee at AlonBee@yahoo.com.
Editor, See the GoodEncouraging! I am inspired to reach higher at home with my wife and daugher. I will remember this story when I cook in our kitchen. Thank you for sharing.
Bristan HeavenAlon's Fried Turkey simply put..."Outstanding" and his book is excellent. Thanks Alon, your perseverance through adversity is truly remarkable.
Josh B.It doesn't take much commitment to be a Dad, but it does take a special heart of a person to become a FATHER. What an amazing story.
MistyI went to junior high school and high school with Alon and he is a great guy. I was acquainted with Vicki and know how much she is missed. Losing my wife of 21 years, Mary Alice, five years ago, I understand the grief and the change to your life. My daughter, Jenna, was only 10 yrs old when Mary Alice died and, of course, it has been a challenge being a single parent, but like Alon says, you have to continue living and being the best father you can. Thank you Alon for your inspiring story and His blessings to you and your family. I'll have to try the recipes!
Tony KilgoreWow!! Incredible!! I will certainly try the parmesan fish recipe. It sounds YUMMY!!
Karmen CarrWhat a great example you are setting as a father for your children, surely they will remember the things you've taught them and will influence them in their own families one day.
Kelsey M.My Mother passed away when I was 12. My Dad was just like you Mr. Bee. My Dad washed our hair and burned biscuts every Saturday until he got it right. I love him today for what he did. Your kids love you too. I am gonna call him right now and tell him I love him. Thank You.
KimberlyGod bless you and your family, Alon... It was so uplifting to read this piece and to "reconnect" with you again... I took several AIB courses with you back in the early 90s while at Bank of Mississippi and I continue to use the knowledge to this day. I admire your wisdom, strength and spirit. Oh, and a BIG Hotty Toddy!!! :)
Michael McSwainAlon I enjoyed reading your story and look forward to trying your recipes. I admire how you overcame your personal grief to be strong for your children and carry on the traditions your wife started. Thank you for sharing with us.
Kathy manningI have known Alon for many years and he is a remarkable Family man and Business man. Try his recipes he is an awesome cook!
ABTAn incredible story of how love prevails! I know that your children have continued to feel the love of their mother through the actions you have taken in loving them the way a true FATHER loves! Our Heavenly Father taught us how to love and your story tells of a life, "Well done in His sight!" Thank you for sharing! God's blessings to you and your family.
Joe SimsYour words and my fathers similar words have never been more true to me since I have become a father myself in the past year. I couldn't imagine life with out my wife Tiffany. I applaud your devotion as a father.
Brad KingAlon, what a neat and inspirational story! I appreciate how you have always encouraged Bryan to make his family (and specifically attending his children's special programs/events) a priority. How can I get a copy of your book?!
Ceci RutledgeGreat Story!
TonyI have known Alon for many years and he truly is a remarkable family man and business man. His recipes are AWESOME!
AllisonWhere can I buy the book - 100 Reminders for My Kids Before They Leave Home? Please let me know at cindy.bowman@regions.com.
Cindy BowmanI love this story. The recipes sound interesting!
alicia crespoFor those inquiring on how to obtain Alon’s book, 100 Reminders for My Kids Before They Leave Home, email Alon Bee at AlonBee@yahoo.com.
Editor, See the GoodAlon, This is such a sweet story....you are so correct....being a great parent is what truly matters....
Barbara DolesThank you Mr. Bee for being the person you are. With more parents like yourself, we would certainly have a better world for our children.
Claudia ChristensenWhat a special way for a father to be there in a new special way for his kids....
Candi