Serving Those Who Have Served

Posted July 1, 2010

YOU'RE A YOUNG WOMAN and you’re a soldier. You’ve just returned from war. After the joyful welcome home, your family expects you to slip comfortably back into your previous roles as daughter, mother, wife, and nurturer.

Except that you can’t. You can’t sleep, and you can’t think straight and you jump at any sudden movement. You worry that if you seek help from the Veterans Administration, you’ll be branded with the scarlet letters “PTSD”—post-traumatic stress disorder. What can you do?

If you’re in the St. Louis area, you can breathe a sigh of relief. Because Betty Gonzales has got your back. Betty possesses the fighting spirit and, as she puts it, “bulldog tenacity” befitting a former Marine. She devotes an extraordinary amount of time and energy to helping and honoring her fellow veterans. And she’s handy with a rifle, too.

Betty joined the Marines during the Vietnam War era. Growing up in Ohio, she had attended Catholic schools, and her family thought she might enter the convent. But she says with a laugh, “The Marine Corps had a much nicer-looking uniform, so I picked them.’’

She also picked a nice-looking man in one of those uniforms and married him. He finished his Marines hitch, went back to school, then entered the Air Force as an officer. Meanwhile, Betty’s enlistment expired. They started a family that grew to include four children. After many travels, they wound up at Scott Air Force Base in Belleville, Illinois, across the Mississippi River from St. Louis. They’ve lived in the area ever since.

One weekend a month, Betty and other members of St. Louis Service Women’s Post 404 of the American Legion spend Friday through Sunday on call for the Military Funeral Honors program. They provide a final salute to veterans being buried anywhere in the St. Louis area. Betty spends up to half of her vacation days this way, helping provide the rifle volleys. “I usually take November through April because one of our other ladies has frostbite, and she can’t pull the trigger,” Betty says. “So I try to do the colder months.”

Betty served as commander of her post for three years and is the American Legion representative to the veterans committees of U.S. Representatives Todd Akin and Russ Carnahan and helps raise funds to assist severely injured veterans. She has organized and served as mistress of ceremonies for big Memorial Day and Veterans Day celebrations in downtown St. Louis.

And she has been instrumental in The Girlfriends Project, designed to meet the needs of women returning from war. “It’s like being a Big Sister,” Betty says. The women of Post 404 are all veterans themselves, so they understand. They work closely with the VA and know about the full range of resources available to veterans. And they know how to comfort. “We’re an ear for them to vent to or a shoulder to cry on,” Betty says.

One year, Betty says, six young returning veterans became pregnant. “They didn’t have money, they didn’t have a job, and they couldn’t get a job due to the PTSD,” Betty says. “They were just having issues. So we thought, well, what would maybe make these girls have a better fate. So we threw a great big baby shower for them.” Area stores and organizations donated piles of baby and maternity clothes and other essentials. The young mothers-to-be were ecstatic.

Another just-returned veteran couldn’t go shopping because she couldn’t handle anyone approaching unexpectedly. So The Girlfriends Project helped her get in touch with an organization that provides trained therapy dogs. The dog posts itself as a sentry at the end of each aisle, warning her when someone’s coming. The woman has done so well that she’s now part of the project, helping other women with their own reentries back into civilian life.

The project, entering its third year, has drawn notice from the VA. “They’re making it a prototype,” Betty says. “They’re going to share it with all the VA hospitals around the country.”

Post 404 can trace its drive back to its founding in 1946. “Ladies coming back from World War II wanted to join the American Legion,” Betty says. “And the guys told them, ‘Well, you can join our auxiliary, but you can’t join the Legion.’”

You can imagine how that went over. “I’m telling you,” Betty says, “these World War II ladies are amazing. They just said, ‘We’ll start our own post.’ And they did. And it’s still going. We’re the second-largest post in the city of St. Louis”—and the only all-female post in Missouri.”

Betty says World War II veterans still make up 20 percent of the membership. “They’re some feisty old ladies, I’m telling you,” she says admiringly. “They are so funny.”

Betty, who’s pretty funny herself, gets uncharacteristically tongue-tied when asked how it feels to know she’s helped someone. Finally, she says simply, “I just want to be useful. I feel that this is the way that I can give back.”

Those feisty World War II ladies have nothing on Betty Gonzalez.

BETTY GONZALES is Head Teller at the Fifth Street Regions branch in St. Charles, Missouri.

comments (23)

This is such a fantastic story. I wish I could meet Betty and shake her hand for all she has done. I am so happy to hear about the good people doing great things in the world. Sounds like a great organization! Semper Fi Betty!

Sarah

What a great story (par for the course here on this site)! Thank you for your service to all of us, Betty!

Aubyn Brown

As a young woman in the military (ARMY NG)I can't help but be touched by this story! I wish I could hang out with Betty for the day (or more) and listen to her old war stories. I am sure I would have a ball with these ladies. I've always felt I should have been born in the 20's myself so I could have served during WWII, instead of now. Thank you Betty and all the other women who have served before me and paved the way! HOOAH! :-)

Jamie Laird

Thank you for everything you did for our country, you are a true Solider...

Chris

I myself returned from Iraq april 2010! i was deployed from around febuary 2009 to april 2010! i also have a 2 year old daughter! and returning back to work! i have been in the army 4 years now and have 4 years left in! i love it! and i love to hear stories like this! it seems to give the rest of us who have been there a new sense of hope! thank you for sharing your story with us Betty! you are a true American Hero!

Amber Smith

Betty, Thank you for the freedoms that we enjoy everyday. Thank you for the time and effort that you devote to these young women returning from war. People don't realize what that would be like as we have never had to deal with these type of issues. We appreciate you and your fellow comrades!!

Sandy

Thank you for serving. My dad was in WWII (Coast Guard), I lost a boyfriend in Vietnam (Air Force), my son was in the Gulf War (Navy - in the desert with Schwartzkopf), my brother is now in Afghanistan, and my grandson (Navy) will be going soon. What's wrong with this world that 4 generations have to fight wars? Thank you for what you do to help our heroes when they return.

Terry Clark

Thank you for helping others. You are blessed.

Betty

Betty - Thank you not only for your prior service but for your current service. I served one enlistment in the Navy - where I met my husband - who is now a retired Marine. The military life is not an easy one but the skills, life lessons and experiences gained are by far life changing and impactful. It is a lifestyle that you choose and it takes a special person to accept the challenge. The difference you are making in the lives of these women will not go unseen. Continue your mission Betty as you contine be Semper Fidelis (Always Faithful)! HOORAH!

Pam Hatt

True soldiers are a special breed. Bless you for continuing your service to our country through assistance to our current soldiers. My son has served in Iraq and will deploy to Afghanistan in December. Thank you & your friends for caring.

Jacqueline

Thank you for your service, Betty!! And thank you for your continued service... God bless!!

Pat Bates

Awesome story...It is so good to know all the women she is helping that served to protect our country and our freedoms. Thank you Betty for all you do!

Kim

I have a daughter in the Army National Guard and a son in the Air Force National Guard and they both have been to Iraq. My son has been two times. My daughter is Air Traffic Control and she didn't see alot of fighting but she did say that their compound did get hit every so often once when she was doing guard duty a mortar round hit very close to the guard shack and she was pretty shaken and her hearing was affected for awhile. She did very well when she came back and has managed to get back into the swing of things even getting a better job and she has gotten married and had a baby since coming home in late 2007.

SHARYL SHAW

What a blessing that Betty Gonzalez has been in touching so many lives. I appreciate all she has done in service to protect our country and its freedoms, and to honor the others returning home!

Karen Moore

Great story, not everyone in the civilian community knows what people go through being active in the military. Thanks you so much Betty for giving back.

Fran Nolin

This is wonderful. You are a remarkable woman. Thank you for everything you have done. Just a note about my experience at a wedding reception 7/2/10. On all the tables were beautiful post cards already addessed to servicemen and women overseas. They asked everyone to write out at least 2 and they would see that they were delivered to them. I thought this was a wonderful idea. The groom and his attendents were in uniform. Made a beautiful wedding.

Johnnie Lynn Atkins

I am so happy to hear about good Woman and man in the military. My Dad, Brothers and my dear Husband also in the military . Thank you for your service to all of us :>))))

Anh Phan Tampa Ops

Amazing story.... I worked with Betty many years ago at the bank when she lived in Illinois. She is truly a remarkable woman and is always giving to others. Way to go Betty!!! Keep up the outstanding work--it is so appreciated!

Brenda Timmer

Thank you for all you have done in service to our country and as you continue to serve by sharing yourself with others. You are an inspiration to us all.

Charlotte

Thanks to Betty and all the other ladies in the military. I have had family members in the armed forces and know sometimes the going is rough on them. I am glad to see that some of the women are showing that they are not only combat ready, but also ready to help others returning from combat with their unique challenges. We need to remember all the benefits that each of us reap from our troops and the jobs that they do everyday to keep our freedom strong. A 21-gun salute would not be enough considering so many young men and women have given their lives for our liberty. Our soldiers are in my prayers. Thank you!!!!!

Judy Bates

Wonderful story and great information. I am the daughter of an Air Force Senior Master Sargent and the wife (of 2 years) of an wonderful man who is retired Army of 23 years and an Afganistan Vet. My husband is a Legion Rider and a member of the Patriot Guard. I have been invited to join the American Legion Auxiliary. I just hope I will be able to serve 1/2 as well as you have. Thank you for your service, Betty!

Judy Styron

Thank you so much for all that you do! You have such a big heart, and was so happy to see you recognized here!

Katie Adkerson

Amazing story. I myself served the USMC. I know exactly the feeling. I can relate to your story very much. It really touched me. SEMPER FI Gonzales. Once a Marine Always a Marine.

Fabiola Estrada